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Getting Ready To Be Lost – One Last Time!

Lost will be back this Tuesday with a two-hour premiere starting its sixth and final season. There will be another 16 episodes and then ALL WILL BE OVER.

Excuse us while we have a moment.


Ok, we are back. After 5 seasons of mind blowing happenings, twists and turns, ghosts, psychics, physics, pseudo-physics, religious overtures, polar bears and boars and horses, time travel, deaths, births, The (ZOMBIE) Love Quadrangle of Doom (that nearly drove us insane), numbers, coincidences, fate, mumble jumble, whispers, hatches, Others, other others, villains, double crossings, WTfuckery and whatnots, we repeat: All Will Be Over.

Needless to say, we, as die-hard fans of the show since its inception, have high expectations for this last season. And there are a few things that we would like to see happening in our little screen in order to make us happy:

1) A Grand Unified Theory of Everything.

Physics geeks FTW! Darlton (that’s the ‘ship name for writer/creators Damon Lindeloff and Carlton Cuse) have promised us a Lost GUT since the beginning, and we are going to be so incredibly pissed if it turns out to be any of the following: Snowglobe, Purgatory, Paradise Lost, All just a dream or whatever.

We’ll be even MORE PISSED if there is no Grand Unified Theory of Everything answer for everything that has happened so far.

We will be so mad if they give us nothing, or if they cop out with a Twilight Zone ending. If the writers simply say any of the following:

  1. LOST island is just a weird island that moves around the south pacific because of electromagnetism
  2. Jacob, Ghosts of People That Have Died, Smokey, et. al. are mere figments of the imagination brought on by electromagnetism
  3. The whispers are completely forgotten (or are simply The Others)…or are sounds created by electromagnetism
  4. Richard Alpert is just a lucky dude that has had a long life because he is on the island and can jump around because of…electromagnetism
  5. The island heals people because….electromagnetism
  6. Desmond can flash through time because….electromagnetism

TELL US WHAT THE POINT IS. No more pseudo “well, duh, it’s electromagnetism” crap! Is Lost Island an alien experiment that spawned all life and religion on earth? Is it Hell? You promised us a Grand Unified Theory DAMMIT, and you WILL DELIVER.

(Just so you know there are a grand total of 325 unanswered questions so far. You can read them all here)

That is really what we would like to see. Above all else. A measure of reasoning and sanity behind it all: the clear and unmistakable proof that there was a plan behind everything that we saw in this show. That we were not just jerked around for the sake of WTF!OMG!POLARBEAR moments. If we get ANSWERS, even if we don’t necessarily LIKE them, we will be happy campers indeed (ok maybe not happy campers per se, but you get our drift).

The rest will be icing on the cake, like:

2) A Measure of Happiness

These people have been through a lot. We mean, a lot. Yes, some of them do have reproachable pasts. Some of them did Really Bad Things. But the majority of the characters deserve at least, some measure of happiness. We are talking about Hurley, for example. If that dude, doesn’t get a happy ending, somehow, somewhere, we will be devastated.

Or Sun and Jin. Claire and Aaron. Locke. And Desmond. Speaking of which:


We would really like to know if Desmond is really as special as we think he is. All signs, in our opinion point to “Yes”. We have geeked out on a Grand Desmond Theory for years, ever since he first showed up in season 2. In season 5 he took a back seat (he hardly even showed up) that made us seriously doubt ourselves. And that cannot be. We are hoping he will come back with a bang in this last season and prove us right. Or the universe will collapse.

4) The End of the Quadrangle of DOOM once and for all.

The Love Quadrangle of Doom gave us stupid scenes like the one above. But we saw the end of it, when Sawyer found happiness with Juliet. They were cute together. They were in love. BUT at the end of season 5, Juliet fell to her death. That, coupled to the possible reset, prompted by the Hydrogen Bomb blowout may point out to a reset of the Quadrangle as well. We hope this is not the truth. (Although, deep in her heart of hearts, Ana still sort of hopes of a Sawyer-Kate ultimate hook-up) (And so does Thea. Even though she knows it’s not gonna happen).

5) Sawyer

He better have an heroic ending. No other character has had such an awesome arc as Sawyer. He went from a sleazy womaniser, self-absorbed con-man to a mature, responsible, leader that people could look up to. We would prefer he made it alive and well, but if he dies he better die a heroic death. No backtracking, please. We are just saying.

And one last thing: He Walks Amongst Us But Is Not One Of Us

(If you are sick and tired of us bitching and moaning about Jack, avert your eyes now!)

The ONE thing we are not prepared to see is for Jack to be the beginning and end of everything. If the Grand Unified Theory of Everything is …. Jack…..

…because he is the Incarnated Something from Somewhere (as his godforsaken tattoos from that scary Thai chick with the alien chest might signify) we actually think our collective brains will literally explode and our faith on TV shows will forever be tarnished by this blackness of profound lack of creativity. This can not happen. We don’t think we can ever recover after that.

And that is it! What about you, fellow Lost geeks? What do YOU want from the Final Season?

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  • Gerd D.
    January 30, 2010 at 6:39 am

    Uhh, women in mud, why didn’t tell me anybody about that scene?

    Uhm … yeah, blame that one on electromagnetism…
    Which, from the sounds of it, the “Lost” writers are very fond of. 😀

  • katiebabs
    January 30, 2010 at 6:47 am

    ((SAWYER)) I heard rumors that the chesty man will be destroyed over Juliet’s death.

    You better believe the first 5 minutes of the first episode will be the most important one to watch of the entire series.

  • Diana Peterfreund
    January 30, 2010 at 7:02 am

    Just reading this post makes me glad I gave that show up when it went downhill in season 2.

  • Danielle
    January 30, 2010 at 8:37 am

    I’d just be happy with a nice freeze-frame of Sawyer for two hours. Does that make me shallow?

  • April
    January 30, 2010 at 8:40 am

    Uh…..all I can say is–thank you so much for wrapping up all of MY personal feelings and hopes for what is to come for Lost this season.

    I have a lot of emotions wrapped up in Lost, despite the fact that all of my fellows Lost viewer friends have given up on the show, I still doggedly LOVE LOVE it….but I have faith. I have faith in the writers to make this last season work, because they have taken me to so many unexpected plateaus…well…I can’t even express how profoundly I love this show, and how utterly confounded by it I am at the same time.

    So here we go!!

  • Twimom227
    January 30, 2010 at 9:29 am

    I want to know why there were mechanical noises when the smoke monster moved around during the first two seasons.

    I want to know who the skeletons were from the cave found in season 1. And what was with the white and black rocks?

    I want to know why the psychic told Claire that no one else should raise her unborn child. What was up with that?

    My theory simplified: Jacob and other dark dude (I think he may be linked to smoke monster) are angles, possibly sent from another world, to help shepard humans into a new era of evolution. Jacob believes it can be done and was taking time to find the right people, etc. He is “good.” dark guy is “bad” and either, is tired of waiting and wants to force the situation, is tired of being stuck in this service and wants to get out of it (so killed Jacob) or wants to take over humanity.

    I plan to re-watch season finale this weekend. It was a great episode. Can’t wait to see what happens!!

  • Anonymous
    January 30, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Just coming over to say that the MSA forum is closed to those that are not members so you ladies might want to make a nice little entry here about your amazing theory 😉 No Thea, not planning on re-opening it XD

  • Thea
    January 30, 2010 at 1:01 pm

    Gerd – You have NO IDEA. Kate and Juliet are handcuffed together, fighting in the rain and mud. Over JACK. The promo for that episode had all of us wanting to throw our TVs out the window.

    Lost 3×15 “Left Behind” Promo

    Seriously. “This Jungle Will Rumble.” There are no words.

    KB – Oh I believe it. I’ve been staying far away from my usual haunts because, for once, I want to be unspoiled! It’s a…novel experience. :p

    Diana – Aww, well I know Ana and I come off a little harsh, but it’s all out of love! It’s definitely not the show it was in s1, but it’s still one of my favorite shows on TV. My favorite still airing show, actually :mrgreen:

    Danielle – Not shallow at all. :mrgreen:

    April – *highfive* Exactly dude. The show has taken so many crazy, unexpected turns with highs and lows and despite the frustration I feel sometimes, I wouldn’t change any of it! I just hope this final season pulls everything together. Either way, I’m just stoked to enjoy the ride one last time!

    Twimom – VERY excellent points. I have a feeling that Adam and Eve from the caves are definitely going to be a part of the puzzle. Your theory of the angels/higher beings is a really interesting one! I agree with you that Jacob and his nameless nemesis (whom I definitely agree is the manifestation of the “ghosts” on the show and the smoke monster or at least related to smokey in some way) are some kind of higher beings. Time will tell! I’m rewatching THE INCIDENT 1&2 this weekend as well 🙂

  • Thea
    January 30, 2010 at 1:04 pm

    Damn you, anonymous Greek! 😛

    Well, sorry folks if you want to read the Grand Desmond Theory, it’s closed on the forum. But I can email it if anyone feels like punishing themselves with endless threads of psycho-babble-theoretics.

  • Amanda
    January 30, 2010 at 1:11 pm

    Uh, you guys do know that the guy who plays Desmond has been sued for sexual harassment, right? And Disney/ABC have already established that they fire actors who get into legal trouble (Libby and Ana Lucia), sooooo
    Desmond is so going to die within the first two episodes.

  • Thea
    January 30, 2010 at 1:49 pm

    Amanda – I think ABC and Harry Ian Cusick (Desmond) settled the case last year. It’s true that ABC tends to kill off those who have screwed up, but we’re clinging to the precedent that Daniel Dae Kim (the guy that plays Jin) set in 2008 – he was arrested for a DUI (the same offense that got Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros killed off) but because he’s such a popular and integral character, tptb kept Jin alive.

    Regardless of HIC’s bonehead behavior, Ana and I love Desmond’s character so much, we’re clinging to the hope that he gets to finish out the show’s last season! (But yeah, you could be completely correct and he does get killed off in the first few epis. That would suck. And all that Desmond theorizing since season 2 goes down the tubes. Oh yeah, meant to clarify, the Grand Desmond Theory is an old one we created back in season 3, not something new we’ve concocted for this final season. Just FYI!)

  • Twimom227
    January 30, 2010 at 2:18 pm

    I want to hear the Desmond theory!! Can you email me? I had some theories about Desmond and the Whitmores. My hubby thinks Hurley is the key.

  • Diana Peterfreund
    January 30, 2010 at 3:42 pm

    So did Evangeline Lilly — get arrested with Michelle, I mean.

  • Karen Mahoney
    January 31, 2010 at 3:39 am

    Thea, I want to hear the theory!! Please email me your Very Wise Desmond Thoughts. 😉

  • Gerd D.
    January 31, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Well, I must say if it should turn out that the claims are true they certainly should have Desmond fired/killed-off, sexual harrasment is most certainly not a petty crime!

    And hey, they can always use electromagnetism to create a new character that houses Desmond’s spirit if he should be important to the show.

  • jennygirl
    January 31, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    I completely agree with everything above except for Sawyer and Kate. I was pissed when Juliet fell down the shaft. I wanted them to be together forever.
    I don’t need all of my questions answered, but most of them. And so help me, if the ending is completly dumbass, I will never watch anything by them people ever, ever, ever, again. I swear it.
    Oh and please give Jack his balls back. My Grandmother was more manly and strong than he is for goodness sake.

  • Bridget Locke
    February 1, 2010 at 2:17 pm

    I haven’t followed this series since Season 1 (sad), but I follow your recaps every season. 🙂

    I read the EW article they wrote about LOST and I didn’t like what I read. The creators and writers are pretty adamant that they’ll only answer the questions that the characters care about…nothing more. So, there probably won’t be answers to some of the bigger questions.

    Considering the fact that there are only 16 episodes for this season, there will probably be a lot of disappointment. 16 episodes to wrap up 5 years worth of questions is a lot to ask for. *sigh* I guess we’ll see.

  • Mervi
    February 1, 2010 at 3:32 pm

    Well, I was pretty hard-core X-Files fan back in the day so I’ve been burned before. I’m just hoping that Lost doesn’t end the same way.

    However, when I complained about this to my brother, he said “If you’ve enjoyed watching the show, does it really matter how it ends?” I tend to agree with him; it was fun while it lasted and it’s only a bonus if they can tie up even half of the loose ends.

  • willaful
    February 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    This made me think of you guys 🙂 (Not that I don’t enjoy your “Lost” posts, even though we gave up on the show seasons ago.)

  • willaful
    February 2, 2010 at 12:38 pm

    Oh shoot, it didn’t go through. Trying again.


  • Juju
    February 5, 2010 at 1:27 pm

    Oh my! I just LOVE blog! I can’t wait to see whats up with Sayid 🙂

  • vicky
    April 22, 2010 at 3:50 am

    yea, i can’t wait to see why sayid surdenly rose frm the death, so wats up with jecob?

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