The X-Files Long Weekend: Greatest Hits

No X-Files weekend could be complete without a rundown of some of our all-time favorite episodes. This list was nearly impossible to compile. SO, we cheated. We give you Ana’s and Thea’s separate top 10 favorite episodes…with runners up.

Thea’s Top 10: (in order–yes I ranked them, and it hurts my heart, but I did it!)

10. The Erlenmeyer Flask (episode 1×23) – The first mythology episode that had me tearing my hair out. I mean, they KILLED Deep Throat! The alien fetus, the government conspiracy, all of it in its heyday (and when the mytharc episodes still made sense).

9. Jose Chung’s From Outer Space (episode 3×20) – It literally turns the dark, brooding nature of the X-Files mythology on its head and points and laughs. This episode is freaking hi-larious: from the Harryhausen stop motion monster/alien Lord Kinbote (from INNER-space), to the silly hypnosis, to the Men In Black (“What you saw was the Planet Venus”, thank you Jesse Ventura and Alex Trebek), and The Scream (Mulder, I love you).

8. Colony/End Game (episodes 2×16/17) – My favorite mythology episodes evah. The emotional impact of these, with the return of Samantha Mulder, the appearance of the Dread Alien Bounty Hunter…it’s all completely mind blowing.

7. The Post-Modern Prometheus (episode 5×06)– Completely shot in black and white, involving ‘the Great Mutato’ aka the (post-) modern prometheus, (that is, the new Frankenstein). And Cher. This episode is so very smart (well, most of them are), and one I can watch over and over again.

6. Wetwired (episode 3×23) – Proves that Gillian Anderson is a goddess. Her paranoia and fear of Mulder, her descent into the mouth of madness is beautifully portrayed. Did I mention that Dana Scully is my number one Girl Crush of all time? *licks Dana*

5. Darkness Falls (episode 1×19) – Killer Green Bugs That Turn People Into Mummies! This episode had me just a little bit scared of the dark (gimme a break, I was 11). And the green bug CGI was awesome back in 1994.

4.Humbug (episode 2×20) –

NUTT: Not all woman are attracted to overly tall, lanky men such as yourself. You’d be surprised how many women find my size intriguingly alluring.

MULDER: And you’d be surprised how many men do as well.

Hehehehehe. This episode is absolutely wonderful. I had no idea who the ‘killer’ was or what would happen in the end. Believe in the Fiji Mermaid! Believe!

3. Bad Blood (episode 5×12) – This is, in my opinion, the funniest of the funny X-Files. Mulder’s conviction that a young boy is a vampire goes too far when he stakes the kid–and the episode is spent with a recap from both Mulder and Scully, recounting the events of the past day. Of course, their accounts are wildly different, and hilarious. Oh, and “SHAFT!”. Yeeeah baby.

2. The Unnatural (episode 6×20) – Baseball + Aliens. Need I say more? Oh yes, and David Duchovny wrote this one. I loved this episode for its emotional value, both in the past with the segregation of the major league, and the idea that Love, even if it is for a sport, is universal. The scene at the end with Mulder teaching Scully how to hit is sappy and wonderful.

1. Squeeze/Tooms (episodes 1×02/1×20) – My favorite episodes of all time (it probably has something to do with the fact that Stephen King’s It is one of my favorite books). Eugene Victor Tooms is a scientific anomaly. He can contort and stretch his body ala Mr. Fantastic, but does so to steal and consume human livers, then goes into hibernation for 30 years. Doug Hutchinson gives one of the scariest performances I’ve ever seen on network television with this character.

Honorable Mentions:
Arcadia – Mulder and Scully play house, undercover
Three of a Kind – The Lone Gunmen rule!
Ice – Chilling, paranoia tale at the top of the world
Home – Really, really creepy. Inbreeding is a scary thing.
Monday – Groundhog Day in an X-File episode.
The Host – Another creature feature that is gross, and really scary. *shudders*
War of the Coprophages – When cockaroaches invade…
Triangle – The cinematography for this is beautiful; and past!Scully and past!Mulder kiss
The Rain King – Hilarious, and very touching
First Person Shooter – Krista Allen makes an appearance as a kickass virtual reality goddess. Rrrroawr!

Ana’s Top 10:

This my friends, was the hardest post to write ever. How in the world am I supposed to list ONLY 20 episodes of the greatest show ever? Answer: I will cheat. Muwahahaha.

Note: I am listing them in order that they were aired – otherwise it would be even harder!

10. Beyond the Sea (episode 1×13) – The episode where Scully’s father dies. It is the first episode that I actually thought the show was going places acting–wise. Up until that moment, most of the guest actors were crap but then Brad Dourif as Luther Boggs came along and the actor is so stupendous (he plays Doc Cochran in Deadwood). Most of all, this is where my Scully-crush began – the showdown between Scully and Boggs gives me goose bumps – a master class in acting.

9. Duane Barry/Ascension/One Breath (episodes 2×05/2×06/2×08) – The trilogy of episodes that deal with Scully’s abduction. It was crazy, it was terrifying and sad. I never thought she was going to disappear forever but Mulder did and it was such an amazing thing to behold. This is when David Duchvny’s acting started to shine if you ask me. This is also an arc which prologues many important things mythology wise. It is proof that Aliens exist and that Duanne Barry is not mucho loco. And there are many cool action scenes as well, with Mulder in the cable car in a desperate attempt to get to Scully in time. AND this is where we learn that Krycek is EVIL (or is he?). AND the confrontation between Mulder and Cigarette Smoking Man who received his nickname “Cancer Man” right here. And peeps, Nurse Owens who brings Scully back but who was never there!

8. Colony/End Game (episodes 2×16/17) – Finally Mulder find his long lost sister only to lose her again. The first time the shape-shifting Alien shows up but the best for me was in the end, Mulder chose to save Scully over Samantha!

7. Piper Maru / Apocrypha (episodes 3X15/3X16)- The introduction of the Black Oil alien which is one of the most important elements in the mythology of the entire show. Plus, the return of Alex Krycek! We never know if he is good or evil or somewhere in between.

Scully to Mulder: “You’re in the basement because they are afraid of you, of your relentlessness, and because they know that they could drop you in the middle of the desert and tell you the truth is out there and you’d ask them for a shovel”

6. Jose Chung’s ‘From Outer Space’ (Episode 3×20)– It starts with a couple of aliens (or are they) attacking a pair of unsuspecting lovers only to be attacked themselves by a creature out of a Ray Harryhausen’s movie! Then they proceed to mock the entire X Files mythology while never really departing from it. It has the infamous Mulder Scream, possibly the single most hilarious moment in the series. And the “This is not happening” scene!

5. Gesthesmane/ Redux / ReduxII (episodes 4X24/5×02/5×03)- The arc that beings descent into hell for Mulder. The conspiracy takes a whole new turn that denies everything they have learn so far and Mulder starts to rethink everything he has ever believed. This is where he learns that Scully is dying of Cancer because of HIM. Season 4 ends with Scully testifying in a trial and it would seem she and Mulder are in the outs – if Mulder hadn’t been found dead. Season 5 starts and we learn it is all a ploy to give Mulder time to find a final cure for Scully’s cancer. Phew. Had I been watching it in real time I would have died of agony during the break between seasons.

4. Bad Blood (episode 5×12) – The episode that turned me into an X-File addict. I watched before getting into the show and it convinced me to buy the DVD box. This is such a clever episode and it embodies everything that they are –and how they perceive each other. It is hilarious.

3.Memento Mori (episode 5×15) – The episode narrated by Scully where we learn she is dying of cancer. The voice-over text was just so beautiful, then you have Mulder’s absolute despair and then that last scene where they hug? It is just all so beautifully done, poignant. These two are really friends.

Voice –Over “Scully: For the first time, I feel time like a heart beat, the seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning. The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal threatening clarity in the presence of a truth entertained not in youth, but only in its passage. I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me, knowing that you will read them and share my burden as I have come to trust no other. That you should know my heart, look into it, finding there the memory and experience that belong to you–that are you–is a comfort to me now as I feel the tethers loose and the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey that began not so long ago, and which began again with a faith shaken and strengthened by your convictions. If not for which I might never have been so strong now as I cross to face you and look at you, incomplete, hoping that you will forgive me for not making the rest of the journey with you. “

2. The Unnatural (episode 6×19) – best opening scene in the whole of the X Files. I have watched it a 1000 times for the amazing chemistry between these characters:

Scully: I don’t care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.
Mulder: Well, I won’t sit idly by as you hurl cliches at me. Preparation is the father of inspiration.
Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.
Mulder: The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.
Scully: Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we may die.
Mulder: I scream, you scream, we all scream for non-fat tofutti rice dreamsicles.

And the end with Mulder teaching Scully to play baseball and the hottest Waist-Grab in the history of TV (I am so easy to please)
This is shippers’ paradise.

And I am not even mentioning the whole take into the conspiracy.

1. Existence (episode 8×21) – Even though season 8 was not the best season, the final episode was amazing. Monica and Scully fleeing the aliens who were after her baby, Scully giving birth in the middle of nowhere. Mulder, Skinner and Doggett fighting Knowle Rohrer.. The final demise of Krycek in the hands of Agent Skinner! And it ends with a very beautiful scene between Mulder and Scully:

“The truth we both know” and they KISS and the baby is Mulder’s! and they luuuuuuuurv each other.

The show should have ended the series right there and spared us of season 9. Just saying.

Honorable Mentions

Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose – This episode rocks so much. The Stupendous Yappi and Queequeg!
Triangle – Amazing camera work and past!Scully and past!Mulder kiss!
Field Trip – yellow goo and hallucinations
How The Ghosts Stole Christmas – ghost playing psychologist and having insights on the Scully and Mulder’s relationship.
War of the Coprophages – attack of the cockroaches *shudders*
Elegy – Scully finally sees something supernatural
Dreamland – the agents visit area 51 and Mulder gets lost…inside other man’s body.
Pusher – mind control and Mulder almost shoots Scully
The Post mortem Prometheus – amazing black and white cinematography, play on old horror classics and Cher’s Walking in Memphis.
Humbug – first comedy episode. Bizarre.

And…it’s y’alls turn. Favorite episodes?