Smugglivus: Airing of Grievances – Heroes

So Thea aired the dirty laundry with regards to Jate (ewwwww), True Blood (*snorts*) and the Breaking Dawn Fiasco amongst other craptastic 2008 occurrences. What is there left? The Crap-Fest that was Heroes season 3. Season 1 was VERY GOOD, Season 2 , not so much. But Season 3? Earns the “Worst TV Show” prize of 2008 with its ridiculous twists, unbelievable plotlines, idiotic character arcs, god-awful writing and acting. You ask yourself, why did I keep watching then? Elementary dear friends, so that I could give you….

Smugglivus Presents: our first ever
Illustrated CrapFiesta (2008 Edition) – Heroes Season 3

Part I: The Formula

Nathan: *alive*

Nathan: *We are God’s gift to humanity*

Future!Peter! : The world is going to end. Again. let me botch things up by messing up with the time-space continuum. Again.
Future!Peter!: *dies*

Hiro in Japan: *bored* Need to save something. I know:

“Save the formula save the world”

Hiro: Hey, the formula!

Nemesis: na-na-na-na-naaaa, the formula is mines!

Papa Petrelli: *alive* Muwhahahaha!
I want the formula!I have EVIL plans!

Mama Petrelli: Stop HIM.
Mamma Petrelli: *powerless*

Mohinder: I am smart Scientist. I make formula.
I inject formula on myself before testing it.

Part 2 – Monsters

Peter: we are monsters

Mama Petrelli: I am crazy, I am a monster!

Claire: I can’t die. I am a monster!

Mohinder: Hey, look at me, I am a monster too!

(at least I look good)

Maya: I am so boring. I am a monster!
Maya: *not a monster anymore.**leaves*

Tracy: I am a monster!

Sylar: I am an EVIL monster

Part 3 – Schizo Heroes

Papa Petrelli: Gabriel, I am your father.

Sylar: Daddy?

Sylar: *not evil anymore* Look at me! I am
a cute not-evil-anymore monster.

Sylar: *evil again*

Papa Petrelli: *does evil things*

Hiro: *is ten years old*

Hiro: *not ten years old anymore*

Elle: *can’t control powers*
(because she is a monster)

Ellen and Claire: We know! we smart monsters.
we travel by airplane even though the monster
with the electricity power can’t control herself

Cool new character

Cool new character: *dies*

Cool new character # 2
(Bubbles from The Wire!!!!)
I am a monster

Bubbles from The Wire: *dies*

Adam: *is back*

Adam: *dies*

The Chud: *what I am doing here?*

Matt: I just met you but I love you. Forever.

Nemesis (aka Lame New Character that is
sticking around) : You’re Crazy!
I love you too!

Evillll Papa Petrelli: *needs catalyst*

Peter: I will stop you!
Peter: *Powerless*

Claire: I am the catalyst

Hiro: No, I am the catalyst

Papa Petrelli: No, I am the catalyst
Formula: HA! I am the catalyst

Papa Petrelli: NOT Sylar’s father.
Papa Petrelli: *dies*

Catalyst: *dies*

Formula: *dies*

Eclipse: *lasts more than 2 hours*

Peter: *regains powers*

Nathan: Fooled ya! I am the monster!

Season: *ends*

Ana: *WTF?!*

So good to take this off my chest.

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  • Karin
    January 2, 2009 at 3:19 pm


    All I can say after seeing that is I’m extremely happy I’ve never watched that show.

  • Kris
    January 2, 2009 at 3:30 pm


    PS – That was friggin funny though.

  • Thea
    January 2, 2009 at 3:48 pm

    Thea: *dies*

    Brilliant dude. I stopped watching HEROES during season 1 (please, the writing, the writing! *covers face dramatically*), and this actually makes me want to get a case of beer and rent the dvds for a fun night.

  • AnimeJune
    January 2, 2009 at 3:59 pm

    Gaaaah, I was so disappointed in this season, too. Sylar and HRG are the only reason this season was even mildly enjoyable – their oh-so-brief-and-yet-so-brilliant good cop/brain-eating cop pairing at the start of the season was hilarious, although even I got tired of Sylar see-sawing between good (waffles and adorable sons!) and evil(“CAKE!!!”). Sylar, you’re awesome good or bad, just CHOOSE A FREAKIN’ SIDE ALREADY.

    Good news on the “Heroes” horizon – Bryan Fuller (from the lamentably cancelled “Pushing Daisies”) is returning to the show he helped in Season 1 (a.k.a. the “good” season) and is planning on cleaning house.

  • orannia
    January 2, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Heheheh. I only ever saw the first episode of Season 1, and even though friends rave about it I’ve never got round to watching it. However, I do know who all the character are and I’m amused 🙂

    And can I just saw I love the actor who plays Adam! I loved him as Mr Sark in Alias too….

    I hope Season 4 is better for you 🙂

  • Mishel
    January 2, 2009 at 8:30 pm

    Haha. That was extremely entertaining *claps*

    I never watched an episode but I still thought it was funny (=

  • Dannie
    January 2, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    Omigod I *know* i stopped watching halfway through the season, it was so ridiculous

  • Karen Mahoney
    January 3, 2009 at 1:28 am

    Dude, my stomach hurts from laughing. 😀

    Brilliant! Also, I saw all of Season One & the first few eps of Season 2 then gave up. I'm not feeling inspired to get back into Heroes anytime soon… *g*

  • wonderings
    January 3, 2009 at 8:27 am

    Thanks for the great recap – much more fun than watching the episodes themselves. I gave up after watching first first two of this season. (/sad) I wasn’t sure if it was just me losing my tv-watching mojo after the writers strike…but apparently not!

  • bemaia
    January 3, 2009 at 12:06 pm


    you made me laugh so loud! It’s Sunday 7am, my neighbors will kick me out of the building!!!

  • Katiebabs a.k.a KB
    January 3, 2009 at 2:30 pm

    Evil Sylar makes me cream my pants. Goody goody Sylar makes me bored.

  • Brie
    January 3, 2009 at 8:55 pm

    My hubby loved your take on the finale! He’s been watching Heroes since the beginning and was scratching his head this whole season. It’s been taken off the DVR.

    And another one bites the dust!

  • Ana
    January 4, 2009 at 2:43 am

    : D

    thanks everyone!

    AnimeJune, I heard that Bryan Fuller would be back and this is the only reason why I will give next season a chance.

  • icedtea
    January 4, 2009 at 12:30 pm

    😀 Thanks for posting. I stopped watching this season so now I’m caught up.

  • edifanob
    January 7, 2009 at 5:05 am

    I’m from Germany. So far only Seaon 1 and 2 have been aired.
    I watched Season 1 and I really liked it.
    I watched Season 2 and I got bored.
    I decided not to watch Season 3 whenever it will be aired in Germany.
    So a big thank you to you for reviewing whole Season 3. Now I know I made the right decision.

  • Ana
    January 7, 2009 at 5:12 am

    No probs! Glad to help!

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